Get Confident!

We all lack confidence at some time in our lives. Even the most self-assured looking men and women feel apprehensive at the thought of giving a big presentation or facing an important sales meeting. We all feel unsure of ourselves and our ability at some point. It’s worth thinking about what Olin Miller said, when you get an attack of the nerves, ‘People would worry less about what others thought about them if they realised how seldom they do.’

Confidence is something we all strive for because true confidence helps you to communicate effortlessly and successfully. It comes from knowing and believing in you. That may sound really obvious, but most people do not really know themselves or believe in themselves. Confidence is something we are born with but often lose as time goes by and life throws us its brickbats, so it is often a case of rebuilding what we had. Having true confidence means being able to rely on your own decisions and choices; to be able to make valid judgements without constantly having to ask the opinions of others, in other words, to have the confidence to determine your own future.  To walk into a room and enjoy the fact that you won’t know a single soul or wearing what you want to wear and not worrying about what others may think requires confidence. Starting up a business or going for a high-flying job demands true confidence if you are going to be a success. True confidence also means not being afraid of taking criticism or making mistakes and being bold enough to try something new. It is true that if you are dissatisfied with yourself you will never be satisfied with life. For most jobs it is vital that you radiate confidence because it denotes competence. It is the same in the social arena, having confidence will make people accept and appreciate you, and that will improve your private life. I am going to give you some strategies to improve your confidence and help you achieve a new, positive outlook on life.

There are as many ways to get confidence and some of the most important are:

• Facing your fears
• Gaining self-knowledge
• Thinking positive thoughts and affirmations

If people aren’t confident, they have a fear for a specific reason. It may be that they fear they may be laughed at. They may worry they will look ridiculous or be apprehensive that they are not as good as someone else at a specific task. Whatever your anxieties, facing up to them is vital. Ask yourself:

• Have you always lacked confidence?
• When did you begin to lose it?

Then examine the reasons why it is lacking and look for ways of regaining it.   You can do this in different ways.

• Visualisation
• Positive thinking
• Discarding negative thoughts
• Building on your strengths
• Learning to relax in your own skin

Be positive! Try envisaging the best out of a situation. Henry Ford said, ‘Whether you think you can or think you can’t – you are right.’ If you think you are going to fail you are much more likely to do so; if you anticipate a disaster there probably will be one. Make yourself look forward to the situation, whatever it is, and visualise success beforehand. Have the confidence to follow your own judgement. Both positivity and negativity are communicable and pass from person to person. Try to absorb the positive and disregard the negative. We are all very good at condemning ourselves and wondering whether we have the right to expect success, but you have every right to success and you need to work to achieve it.

Focus on your good points. You can help build confidence by making a list of your:

• Strengths
• Talents
• Skills
• Achievements

These achievements can be in any field, either domestic or at work. I can’t stress heavily enough that everybody has abilities and accomplishments to be proud of. Think about yours and focus and concentrate on them.

Diana

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